Days 19-21.......How do I Balance My Life, When I don't Balance My Checkbook?

Well, school started on Monday. I was a bit nervous, I don't know why. I mean, I talk to people for a living, yet when I walked into the classroom, I felt like a kindergartener who was shy to ask to borrow another kid's crayon. It just takes time, I guess.........

I think that the classes are going to be pretty cool. Two Englishes and one Biology, so my load is definitely lighter than last semester. I just have to figure out how to balance everything. Between Mike being gone on a trip, the dogs and cat, school, work, blah, blah, blah.......I really need to figure it out. I usually get to the point where I am so overwhelmed, that I get that shakey nervous feeling and then just call a bill collector and vent to them. In which case, it isn't their problem.....but I'm sure that they deal with a lot more worse people than me. :)

I've done pretty good so far getting on a schedule with everything, so adding school shouldn't be that much of an issue, I very well could just be adding drama that isn't necessary.

Not much else really happening within the past few days. I may have to turn away from my Eat, Pray, Love because I now have to read about 150 pages from my American Lit. class everyweek. I am determined though to finish it on my pursuit of what is pursueable, and that is, ultimate happiness.

I learned a new word in American Lit. class today. Liminal. Liminal - a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective, conscious state of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes. We then discussed the word, and I thought it rather interesting. Our discussion was based on a writing of Samuel de Champlain. We were talking about just being. Just to BE. In his writings, he talks of going from one place to another, in which case, could be a lifelong struggle, and considered liminal. I am in a liminal state as I try to find a more possible happy outcome after my journey. Yet, we are all on a journey. We as a people are always working towards something better, towards something that we don't have, and possibly towards the American Dream. This is an ongoing process, and one that usually lasts a lifetime. What if we were to just "be"? Just live to live, and not worry about possessions materialistic or whathaveyou, JUST LIVE. Wouldn't that be considered ultimate happiness because you are just being? You are living. You're content and you are not in a liminal state. Isn't it weird knowing that we are liminally living in a state of always being between two.....of anything? I find it weird, but I also find it fascinating!

Anyway, as I stay in my liminal state towards a greater happiness, I will continue to find some sort of balance that will compliment my life and coincide with it without causing difficulty, all the while thinking, "What would it be like to just 'be'?"