Days 22 - 24..........It Takes Two, Boo

Over the past few days, it has come to my attention that for as many things that happen throughout the course of a day, it takes two people interacting to accomplish them. Whether it be a conversation, a bad phone call, an amazing rapport, or a text that is sent from one person and is read and analyzed by the other, someone has to be on the other end.

I'll come back to that.

I have definitely been having more good days than bad days. It's a complete life change trying to be positive, and what I have noticed from it is how negative many people are. Just kidding, but not really. But what really stands out, is when I start to get down on myself, or start having a bad day, it is so easy to be sucked into it, and just let everything ruin the rest of the day. I have trouble there.

For instance, Friday was a real BITCH. I mean, it was just an awful day. It started from, literally, the moment I rolled over in bed and checked my phone and see a text message from "text boy" that was weird and I didn't like it. There have been a lot of mixed signals, and I did go the night before to see his new digs, and by the way it's a great space, and it was fun. I still wasn't asked much about myself, but it was nice all the same. Anyway, i receive a message of, "Dinner with friends is always a good time!" This was replying to my text from the night before asking to go to dinner. BURNED!!!!! I felt completely lame, but my amazing and fabulous friend, Sandy, told me that I'm not, and she is always right. It just felt like kind of a waste, because he is genuinely a nice and goodlooking guy, but if he doesn't even want to get to know me, that's ok too. It just brought out a bit of insecurity and self-consciousness that wasn't fun to deal with, but I dealt with it. AND, I in all honesty dealt with it the wrong way because all I did all day was bitch about it, and that was a roadbump in the road of my journey to happiness. So I need to figure out another way to deal with it. Ultimately, I'm not a game player (for the most part), and I'm straight forward (sometimes). I'm over it now. UPDATE : He just texted me asking if I was going to help him move. WTF?!?!?!? Okay, now I'm only kind of over it. :) And before ya'll get all Ricki Lake on me, I'm not going to help him move, so put that hand down and close your mouth. I know better. Now I have to stop.

My brain is a bit fried because I have been overanalyzing all kinds of crap over and over in my head all week. I would love to hear someone's opinion to yoga, or tai chi, or an actual meditation class. Please, let me know. I am probably repeating myself on this blog, but, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about EVERYTHING. It has helped getting it all on here, but sometimes it's just too much.

And can I just say that I dislike money very much. Well, I dislike what happens when you don't really have money. Yes, I'm in school. Yes, I have a job. Yet, I hate feeling persecuted because this is late or that is past due. Honestly big time corporations, get over it. The person you are employing to call and harrass me, who is going through the exact same thing that I'm going through with another company, is not going to make me give you money faster. The big words and dialogue that is written down for them to read isn't going to make me say, "Hey, screw eating and not paying rent, I'm going to give you money that you shouldn't have." Wow, you're too smart, and don't get me started on how your whole business is run by machines, in which case, you will soon be replaced by a computer, who will of course not require such a hefty salary. Now......back to happiness.

I think that my venting on here helps with my happiness. I don't see venting as being bitchy, or whatever, well maybe, but, it has to come out some way. Maybe I could meditate it out....if I could shadooby it out I would.......I know that I shouldn't have other people read it....it's just a process. And, as you all know, I'm still trying to figure that out.

I took off work tomorrow. I'm so excited but I have to help someone move all day. Lol, psych your mind, I'm just kidding. I'm gonna do some pre-fall cleaning around this joint and hang out with the kids and enjoy the day!!!! I need to get back to posting everyday too, but I'm doing the best I can.

Nighty night.