A Furniture Salesman Walks Into A Bar.........

I quit my job Friday morning and it felt amazing. I have for so long wanted to write that sentence. It's not the fact that its retail, because I really do love people and I used to love that place so much. It just changed, for the worse, and I could no longer be a part of it. I hear so many people say that they hate their jobs, and in the back of everyone's mind is, "well, it can't be THAT bad." In my case it was, so I quit. Case closed. :)

It would be so much easier if happiness could just appear. I sarcastically love how I can find happiness by quitting my job, but, happiness will ensue after enduring the part of finding another one. My job should not define me nor my happiness. I work to live, I do not live to work. I was, however, letting my work create a huge gray "Peanuts" type cloud over my head, and it was with me everywhere - in my sleep, in my home life, in my car, in my e-mail......this shouldn't have happened. I took necessary steps to try and rectify the situation. These steps did not work, no matter how professional they were taken. Some people just become drunk with power and when you do everything right, it becomes an intimidation, and it comes down to me being too young for growth. *bullshit* Isn't that funny? I'll take that as a compliment, because I am very young looking, and I will not suffer as you are right now. That deserves a smiley face. :) And my numbers spoke for themselves which deserves two smiley faces. :) :) But that's just me being a bit spiteful.

Thankfully, the sun was shining and it was 84 degrees outside on the day I quit. I was thankful, I took it in, and I went to the beach with my dogs. I didn't think about not having a job, I took the day to not worry about anything (because it was a very stressful week, despite work), and it was amazing. When you are standing with your feet in the sand, and you see so much life and the enjoyment of it and the warmth of the sun is burning your face and you have a Double Diet Coke Big Gulp in your hand - it's euphoric. I went to bed that night and had the best sleep of my life - who cares if a generic sleeping pill was involved.

Backtracking to the beginning of the week - Bryan flew in from TX on Sunday. We had fun that day, and that was the start of my not smoking. The next night we went to the Big Gay Supper Club, and I drank way too much, which honestly is not like me - and it was a long night that I want to forget, so that's what I'm doing. I didn't do anything bad (I don't think) but I lost my fucking driver's license which was a Texas DL. Now I have to take everything I own to the DMV so I can assure them that I am me. Bryan flew back on Tuesday and that afternoon, Mike and I packed up the dogs and drove up to Racine, WI. Why?? I dunno. Cheese, we wanted good cheese, and we found an assload of it at a lesbian antique store called Tim and Tom's. :) I call it a lesbian antique store because lesbians were running the place. Ton's of Coca-Cola memorabilia. I could be wrong, and they very well could have been Tim and Tom 8 years ago.

I stood in line with the rest of the crazies of Chicago - Northside yesterday at the Social Security office for 36 hours. I lost my SS card when we moved here, and I need it for the new DL and it's a huge mess.

Sorry this blog is so boring, excuse me, sobering; it will be better next time. I did of course find another job, and have my final interview on Monday. So send lots of luck my way!!!!! I haven't smoked in 7 days now, so I've been moving a mile a minute to stay busy.

Blah.....goodnight!

P.S. I found a flowershop near my apt this morning in the beautiful rain. The arrangements are dated and traditional, but the cooler is filled with amazing stems (and cheap too). It's Beu's Flowers, check em out, get the Bells of Ireland, they're my favorite.

P.S.S. Will somebody please tell me what the point of having Yelp.com is if the business can call and have the bad reviews deleted? Yes, this is true. -------- We don't take responsibilty and find a solution for the problem, we delete these reviews, they're personal attacks. -----Okay, I'm done. :)

P.S.S.S. I usually know the difference from when someone is being sincere and genuinely nice while I'm working, and when they just want a discount. I was duped big time by a dude who's too cool for school and I just wanted to make a friend out of the situation. Then I made it worse by sending an email. I rocked it out with a bang. That's how I roll. ;)

Finding The Good

If there's one thing that I have noticed lately, it would be a sort of unflattering substance that seems to be growing and growing. I include myself in this discovery. It's as if a grudge is being carried around, or, a mental hatred of something that has yet to occur - and with this hatred an inevitable outcome of what they assumed would happen does, in fact, happen. I walked into 7-11 finding that as I was looking for gum, a person walked into the store for lottery tickets, being absurdly rude, and the demeanor of this person was completely noticeable when they first walked in. Was it a bravado of readiness because they thought they would be holding up the line for minutes on end? Was it because they knew that the guy behind the counter would have a bit of trouble with them calling out the numbers as if playing a speed round of Bingo? Or was it just for the purpose of not liking or wanting to contribute in small talk, should it present itself? I may never know.

I've been noticing how my stance on common courtesy has dwindled in some areas. Being the Texas country boy that I am, it bothers me. I work in retail/sales, so a smile is always on my face when I'm on the clock, ready to make that sale, because this is how I make my paycheck. I sometimes would rather not smile, being as this is work, and being as this is not an establishment that I enjoy being part of, and this could be part of my predicament.

I have seen people get upset when they have to repeat themselves and say, "I said NO onions!", followed by the "bitch." said underneath their breath. I have seen a postal worker, who clearly disliked their position, be rude to the three people standing in line in front of me. I have seen myself be a complete dick to a car sales guy, in reasoning that he was a car sales guy. It's a circle. It's life. It's a game. It's a circle. There are genuinely nice, friendly, breezy people in this world. Some of whom have the patience that most dream of and the qualities of human-ness and a caring nature that are envied by many. Still, we go out the next day, and do the same thing. There are of course those days when you are nice to everyone, or you're indoors all day and haven't even had the priveledge to see anybody. Either way, it was a good and pleasant day. It's like smoking, or rather, quitting smoking. You see the person in an everyday activity not smoking, and you want that, and you try it. Then the thought goes away for a few minutes, and you are, without a flinch, as if it is a reflex, back to what you were doing before. Then, after you do it, you think back to the good person doing the good deed. In fact, there are those people who don't even see the good, or the nice person, or the friendly gesture, and this is what we do not want to become. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be a tool because it is my nature. Because it isn't. So many people I have seen lately have been walking around feeling rushed or with an attitude or overall not giving a shit. The fact that we wake up every morning is a blessing in itself, and it is hard to keep that in mind; because of its consistency with daily life. But we should keep it in mind. It should be held that anything at anytime can happen. Our worries shouldn't be that of ugliness. Our enemies shouldn't be attached to strangers on the street, or anyone else for that matter. We shouldn't have premonitions about things that haven't happened yet, nor should we make assumptions about people and places just to create a negative. We should breath, live and love and live and love and live and love. Here is a great example: I took notice of so many people lately having a negative impact, that I didn't see many of the good that could have happened at that same moment. And this should be my reflex - finding the good.